This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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