Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
