i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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