I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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