dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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