If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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