Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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