In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
