I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
