I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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