i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
