drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
