My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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