I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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