guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
