im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
