Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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