you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
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An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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