you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
