YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
