cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
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All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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