How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
