u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
