They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
