you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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