My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
