He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize