her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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