I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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