Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
