The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
