The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
