Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
