I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
