lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
