It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
