on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
