I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize