I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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