cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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