my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
