There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
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I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
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I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's rum buckets o'clock
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers