She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit