Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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