tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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