help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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