Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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