Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
