I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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