i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
