there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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