We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
