I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
