Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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