He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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