i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
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Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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