Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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