cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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