when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The air was thick with penises
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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