I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
